Patterns and Tendencies

INT. BEDROOM- APT. HAPPY GROVE, BUSHWICK NY  -- NIGHT

My roommate just went to go fuck her boy toy of the night and I sit here wondering what is it that I'm supposed to be doing right now. I guess getting baked is starting to manage thoughts to become aroused and a text could "make it work".  Of helping me find manners more intense than what they're supposed to be. I always overthink things, right. So.
anyways, I thought to myself one day.

INSERT TEXT: "WHAT'S THE POINT?"

You see patterns, tendencies, some would say,
of how it all might go one way. Her way.  My way.
The only way. The way it always goes.  It just
goes.

The way you find yourself waiting for another call.
A text. Some sort of love con quest,
not "con queso", because sex tends to make things
difficult. And there's no point in trying to make
something beautiful out of something that
flourished and died already.
Or so she believes.

You see, flowers die because you take them from their root.
And here lies the problem I can't compute
we all can't seem to uncover a solution
to get away. From everything that not even sunshine can re array.
A pattern of breaking from the way, the only way.
Her way.

INSERT TEXT: I AM ON HIATUS

When you see patterns, and tendencies,
you try and steer away. But flowers
in spite of Global Warming,
still come back in May.

And roots form again.
It's a tendency we can't change.
Try to remember whose uprooting
destroyed the flourished garden, and regardless,
it's a stupid tendency to think about her flowers
any ways.

something broke inside her, fix me.

something broke, in her
mind, oh fragile mind,
something broke her.

something broke, and I can't fix it.
my rock, she broke, and I can't fix it.
someone come help me, fix it.
she's gone. she's not here. she's
broken. fix it.

half sense sentences,
compulsive hand usage,
urges to run free,
to organize EVERYTHING,
confusion reigns,
i can't do this without you,
someone fix her.

something broke inside her.
and she won't let me beside her.
to try and understand this new way
she sees the world.
fix me.

I want to dive into your psychosis.
Feel the new era upon me.
"ALL THE WORLDS A STAGE"
and I'm just part of your tech crew,
my dear. fix me.

So i can roam free like you.
So i can understand what you're going through.
let's fix this.

naked

it starts by removing all jewelry.

[it starts by removing all jealousy]
it follows by taking off the blouse.

[it follows by taking off the pride]
and in the same pattern, 

[and for that matter]

free yourself from pants.

[free yourself of the past]
now unhinge the bra.

[now unhinge the soul]

ever.so.gently.

[ever.so.slightly]
slip down those panties

[slip down those fears]

Continue by laying in bed.

[Continue by risking it all]

here we are.

naked. 

what shall we play now?

Una vez más entre mis brazos

¿cómo se siente estar en mis brazos?

me pregunto, a ver si en un segundo

me dices como se siente tener el mundo

en tu regazo.

yo la tenia a ella en mis brazos.
entre tantos suspiros, le susurre al oído

un "te amo", pero ella no lo escuchó.
en algún quinto sue~o andaba.
y yo admiraba aquella vista que poesía creaba.

su cara, tranquila, brillaba con la luz que entraba

por debajo de la puerta, En una encuesta me preguntaron

si creía en algo más fuerte que yo. "Este sentimiento. 

eso creo yo". y por ahí seguí explorando.

Su piel, más suave que papel "Charmin", 

me tentaba con el sube y baja de su respiración.

Contemplación, de lo que aquel roce de manos significaba.

Aquí, postrada en mi cama, andaba diciéndole más 

de lo que quería; Ay! de estas ansias por devorarla.

¿Cómo se siente estar en mis brazos?

porque tenerte es divino. Ay de este corazón intranquilo!

a ver cuando es que entenderé que no todo paraíso
es como el que yo imaginaba. 

"and i always thought the people you dated were dumbasses"

turns out I was one of those that got high hopes,
Dream big, fall hard, get up, do it again.
i was talking to the mother of my dead friend the other day.

[reality doesn't exist.] We concluded,
since this world is so dilluted,
A few seconds of lag between chat chirps
from Paris
To Brooklyn,
can make a life become deconstructed.

I type here. You see there. 5 seconds later because
tellecommunications
tends to control a lot of this made up time of ours.

There is nothing real.
And I always thought the people you dated were dumbasses
until i became one of those that falls too hard for the wrong thing.
Maybe it's
all some
sort of scheme.

I lose quality of my film by ganking off youtube.
and maybe I'm a dumbass that fell for you
in a reality that doesn't exist.

oh how this world is dilluted.
I'm one of those dumbasses that
falls for the guilt of you.

Graffi-

hare un graffiti por toda la ciudad,
desde el bronx a bushwick, lo leerán

todas las voces que se les hace prohibido callar.

veras la fecha que comenzó un amor fugaz.
Lo haré en tinta no permanente para que no

te de miedo una

"eternidad".

I Hereby Declare: I Am Alive

I AM ALIVE!

I BREATHE THE OXYGEN

THAT LACKS IN THESE 

BUSHWICK STREETS.

I TAKE CABS HOME

AFTER HAVING BUTT SEX

WITH THIS MONTH'S LATEST

CONQUEST. I AM ALIVE.

I SIT AND TYPE ON MY COMPUTER

AND THE BIRDS CHIRP OUTSIDE. 

I GO TO THE BATHROOM. ALIVE!

I EAT. I BRUSH MY TEETH. I'M THE

MOST FREQUENT FLYER

OF ONE NIGHTS STANDS.

I'LL NEVER TEXT HIM AGAIN.

I AM ALIVE. I AM. I SWEAR.

I SEE THE SUN RISE AND SET

IN FROM EAST TO WEST.

I RUN. I JUMP. I PLAY BASKET

BALL. I AM ALIVE. 

I JUST FEEL DEAD

SOMETIMES. 

ÑETA.