Tan pronto te fuiste

As soon as you left, walked out the door
of my apartment/dorm
I took the liberty of making the bed,
we made and un made,
in a previous night/weekend of fury.
You went on your way:

[-to catch a bus,
-or an M train
-back to school,
-head to work,
-find apartments
-meet a friend
-grab some drinks]

{sometimesilosecountoftheways
 that you manage to weave
 i n a n d o u t o f m y l i f e.}

I proceeded to wash my face,
rid myself from your taste,
but a strand of your hair

[-curly,
-long
-short
-black
-purple
-castaño.]

A distracted me, decided to scrub away.
Get on my knees, and fabuloso the shit out of
 the shower you just took.
A misplaced bobby pin took me
to the back of your neck a n d

As soon as you left,
I took the liberty of baptising a new era.
the one that will end when you come back
to leave again.

As soon as you left:

[-Santurce
-Guaynabo
-Brooklyn
-Guashington
-Manhattan
-Syracuse
-Boston
-Madrid]

I get the urge to wash away.  All that lingers. The smell of your tingles.
I proceed to expurgate, all that is left,
as soon as you left.

Por eso menciono mi cumpleaños

[en pocos días cumplo años.
y te lo menciono
para que digas:

- cuantos son?-

Y to te conteste.:

-veinte con dos-

y tu me digas:

-que chica.-

y cambio el tema:

-pero y esa camisa?-

-te gusta?-

y me sonrojo:

-no es la cosa mas bonita-

y te ríes.
y que alto ríes.
pero me encanta,
porque mi risa
apenas a los perros
le ruge.
y contrastamos:

*ding ding*

(olives for b sisteen)

-voy a decir algo sucio:

-"say it"

- pienso que se vería mejor en el piso.

o en el baúl
de tu habitación
que me ensenaste
aquella noche
y te sonrojas:

" y chica, que vas a hacer para tu cumple'?

y por un instante quiero decir
"hopefully you."
pero contesto:

-no sé todavía. pasar a saludarte.

*ding*

(malbec 23)

ver si finalmente
te pido un beso
de regalo.
por eso menciono mi cumpleaños]

el silencio entre nos

es impresionante.
el silencio entre nos,
ya no es raro.
como si fuese lleno
de todo
lo que no
queremos
[sabemos como]
decirnos,
el uno
del otro
pero lo compartimos
[en silencio.]

compartimos
a diario
cosas, y
[presagios,]
disturbios de la mente
que no vive en el presente.
pero busca algo diferente
en gente que miente.
[mintió . me mintió .]

nostalgia.
somos nostalgia.
pensando en como [salir de esta
mal tregua.] montarme en una yegua
e irme pa'l carajo.
pero no.
eso no sucede.
aquí estamos,
sentados,
mirándonos expresar los pensamientos,
en silencio.

y te escribo,
[pero no te amo.]
y lo sabes,
pero no me culpas.


[lo que agarra escuchar
este silencio entre nos.]

La prostitución es el "freelance" del cuerpo.

Hoy estoy bien puta.
sin restricción alguna.
con ganas de joder,
beber,
chichar, y olvidar.
quedarme sin más na',
que una sonrisita mañanera
y dos Advil para el dolor de cabeza.

["Hasta el próximo olvido."]

y te marchas.
¿No entiendes?
Explico.

suspiros entre llanto
y luz, a domicilio.
con tanto humo,
me veo en el precipicio.
con ganas de quedar
sin quicio.
los juegos son
vicios que no
llegué a olvidar 
de cuando tenía
dos añitos.
y aquí nos encontramos.

[Dejándote saber donde estamos,]
que hacemos,
como lo logramos.
salir de la monotonía
de la tecnología

prostituyéndolo
con la misma. 
A ver si en una de esas
aventuritas
te encuentras.
de frente.
contigo misma.

Freelance rate: .25 -------- smile

Twisted Souls

[This is a message for the
Twisted souls that don't embrace love,
where love is given,
and well received.
So they reprimand those who feel
freely, and make their way of life,
illegal. And to spite them,
I write this.]

You want
To control us.
To neglect us.
To make us "do it right"
where there is no wrong doing.
Try and make me feel guilty
for loving unconditionally
someone who understands the
inner workings of my mind
and how sometimes my mood swings
due to hormonal mishaps,
because she has those too.

Twisted soul, why don't you
waste your time on reducing the divorce rate
instead of throwing stones at the sight of me and
my lover's embrace?
Take a step back and realize how  ridiculous you're being.
You preach "doing to those what you wish be done to you"
but I bet you don't want me to take away your rights
and hate on your existance, now do you?

I say
if loving who I love is wrong,
let me fail the course of life.
I don't want to be a righteous woman
if that means I have to abide by your illogical
views on what is "accepted".

Because God may be a righteous man,
but he sure as hell enjoyed it in the ass.
And there's no way you can prove he didn't.

La duda.

Nunca se va.
Siempre sabes
que hay algo mas.
Que buscar.
O encontrar.
Porque te conoces
y no eres
lo suficiente.
Para ti, ni para nadie.
Y por ende,
esa duda que emerge,
se queda merodeando,
y a tus palpitaciones
acelerando,
hasta que te lleve al precipicio
de tu muerte.
Cuando de mi corazón
tropieces,
esa duda no se pierde.
Siempre esta ahí.
Dando vueltas
a un asunto,
que no esta pendiente.
Ya deja de llevarte
por tu mente.

El invierno en Boston es gris.

Pienso que esta es la frase que describe,
el clima en el que estamos.
Es que aquí en el nor-oeste hace un *brrrrrr*, bien bellaco.
el viento tan helado, te corta con su filo transparente.
Los humos de tu aliento nublan los cristales de tus lentes.

Pasas por los rieles, ahí va el "Ti" bien desbocado.
Cuando cruces las vías, cuidado y no pises ese charco.
Caer en el "slushie" callejero no es algo que anhelamos.
El hierro oxidando es solo parte de la naturaleza renovando,
Las nubes y su afán de, a los rayos de sol están tapando,
hace que aquí todo sea gris y con ganas de pasar los días llorando.

Pero ya pronto regresarán los pájaros obsequiándonos con su canto.
Hasta entonces, disfrutemos de la puestas de sol a las cuatro.
Y de otra temporada con Tom Brady en el pasado.
Y a seguir con la mente positiva. Este clima gris solo dura
cuatro meses del año.

I've met love twice. Unexpected.

The first time I met Love, 
Love was sweet. 
Love was innocent. Love was
some kind of pure bliss
that no one else had experienced.
A mixture of lust and soft kisses.
Love was a the driving force
that fulfilled all my wishes.

The first time I met love, 
it showed me kindness.
It gave me hope and 
drove me to madness.
The good kind of madness.
The madness of love.
But most importantly,
the first time I met Love,
it was unexpected. 

And like it came, it left.
Leaving me the same way,
Leaving me the same. 
But it would come back, 
yes it will come back.


The second time I met Love, 
Love was sweet. 
Love was innocent. Love was
Some kind of pure bliss
that only a few had experienced.
A mixture of lust and soft kisses.
Love was the driving force
that fulfilled all my wishes.

The second time I met love, 
it showed me kindness.
It gave me hope and 
drove me to madness.
The good kind of madness.
The madness of love.
And yes, like the first time I met love,
the second time was unexpected. 

But unlike the first time I met Love,

this time Love met me.

And although it hasn't left,

it left a mark in me.

And this was unexpected,

Yes. Very unexpected indeed.

#socollege

Long showers the morning
after. The smell of vomit,
clearly you were a disaster.
Slutty girls, just for this one night,
walk along click click clacking,
just fine. Feet achy and throbby,
you weren't feeling that last night.

The hashtag splatter all over your feed.
No more pictures please.
Keg stands, beer pong, chandelier.
I'm certain I can chug a beer
faster than him.
What started off as funny,
now seems so "freshman year".

Smoking in the bathroom of dorm halls
Hope the RA doesn't knock on.
Everyone's a dealer, I always give a taste.
Bong rips, bubblers, pieces and joints.
Whatever you like, I own. But
if you ask me, nothing beats a blunt.

Find yourself at a party,
long line to go break the seal.
The door is locked.
Knock til they scream and get out here.
She's puking her guts out.
Should we call 911? Is it
alcohol poisoning? or a forgotten dinner?
A look at her face, your orientation roomate.

Nothing to do, nothing to see,
people to fuck, places to be.
Welcome to college "little fresh meat".

Espero que

Espero que mi partida,
no haya sido de mucha tristeza,
pues espero regresar a tu sonrisa.
Te prometo que tendré una puesta.

Espero que el frió no te coja desprevenida.
Que las noches no sean largas.
Y que el viento te susurre al oído,
las ganas que no me faltan.

De verte y tenerte, una vez mas.
Pues mi felicidad es plena.
y que nadie me lo niegue;
Esa es la pura verdad.

De  igual manera espero
que este poema te encuentre,
feliz y contenta.
y espero que me entiendas,
cuando te relato
lo que mi cabeza piensa.

Espero, en ti.

At my Desk Job

It's not easy being creative.
But some of us have to do it.
It's runs through our veins,
this urge to create.
And there's no shame in doing it.

I'd rather spend my life creating
than trying to control this need.
To explore; to see beyond. To be,
uncertain. It ain't easy,
having these words flow,
or the stroke of my brush,
To be born again, in each
tiny creative rush.
I get to create something out of nothing.
I get to feel and breathe, the artistic air.
But I'd rather live with this struggle.
Than sit on your desk, stamping your name
over and over and over again.

And signing your prefix so you feel better about
your sedentary job. Clicking away. Go ahead.
So have your desk, and have your steady income
I'll sit here and watch you regress.
I'd rather stay here and inspire.
And be sure you won't stop this fire.
This is a challenge, to make something beautiful.
out of yourself. Take it.