te(chnology)quiero

if tumblr could express

what it feels like to be in 

[the same space,]

kissing ever so gently,

your face,

if every post on tumblr

 i

could feel 

like your embrace,

the kind that heightens

the heart rate,

ending in the shower,

some sort of passionate haze,

don't feel scared if I sound irate,

this is just another one 

of my plays

[with words.]

if a facebook like could tell you

all the things that in my heart you enable,

with your presence. hide all the notifications

of your eyes, in essence, you are trending

all over my wall, and I don't want to sound

appalled, but Zuckerburg can suck

on his relationship status quo.

"Mark as read, I do not want to read any more

from this comment."

now now, don't hurry,

this is not a race.

a lover's internal quarrels,

tend to leave a good taste.

now if i by posting this

i make some sort of headway,

i guess i'm not the only one 

wondering,

"if i like it, will she know that i thought it for her,

or will she wonder who i'm truly liking it for." 

Tan pronto te fuiste

As soon as you left, walked out the door
of my apartment/dorm
I took the liberty of making the bed,
we made and un made,
in a previous night/weekend of fury.
You went on your way:

[-to catch a bus,
-or an M train
-back to school,
-head to work,
-find apartments
-meet a friend
-grab some drinks]

{sometimesilosecountoftheways
 that you manage to weave
 i n a n d o u t o f m y l i f e.}

I proceeded to wash my face,
rid myself from your taste,
but a strand of your hair

[-curly,
-long
-short
-black
-purple
-castaño.]

A distracted me, decided to scrub away.
Get on my knees, and fabuloso the shit out of
 the shower you just took.
A misplaced bobby pin took me
to the back of your neck a n d

As soon as you left,
I took the liberty of baptising a new era.
the one that will end when you come back
to leave again.

As soon as you left:

[-Santurce
-Guaynabo
-Brooklyn
-Guashington
-Manhattan
-Syracuse
-Boston
-Madrid]

I get the urge to wash away.  All that lingers. The smell of your tingles.
I proceed to expurgate, all that is left,
as soon as you left.

Pecas.

tu que pecas por mis pecas,
cuéntame, ¿de qué están compuestas?
Son acaso chispas de un sol caribeño
que quema. Que mucho quemas.

tu que pecas por mi pecas,
cuéntame, ¿de qué están echas?

Son acaso rostros de noches abatiendo

la cama, en vela. Que nochesitas las nuestras.

tu que pecas por mis pecas,
cuéntame, ¿qué tanto te atrae a ellas?
Son acaso evidencia de amor,
de playeo incesante,tu y yo

en perfecta brisa y marea.

tu que pecas por mis pecas,
cuéntame, ¿qué ves en ellas?

Porque yo no le veo ningún encanto.
Sonblock mal usado, testigo de  los años

y los que me restan, pecando.

Sleeping with exes

I.
Pick the deepest,
dirtiest,
scab.
and just rip it.
Now watch the skin
get put back together.

II.
exes: because who doesn't love
the nothingness in the morning.

III.
It feels the same.
It tastes the same.
The kiss, the same.
The touch, the same.
But, I mean, it's not the same.

IV.
I'm sure this time will be different
than the other "last times".

V.
"This is closure...right?"

VI.
Maybe if we try the same positions we'll get the feeling
we had before.

VII.
Maybe if we try different positions I forget we ever had a
before.

VIII.
Ok. This is the last time. I swear.

IX.
Because I like to remember who I was before you broke me.

X.
Because maybe if we do it enough times it'll become monotonous,
like we became, and you'll dump it too.

XI.
Because "some memory" is better than
no memory. At all.

XII.
"I can't come with anyone else."

XIII.
Because of the way my name rolls off
the toun
             gue.

XIV.
It's just physical. Or somewhat critical
to the heart's health. So you do it.

XV.
Because you know you won't be with them again.
And you want to preserve as much as you can get,
even if it's just
lousy sex.

XVI.
Ultimately, there's no justification
to this annihilation
of
self respect.

The Letters I Never Sent: Numero Dós.

Marzo, 8, 2014

Se nos fue tio 'afo. You already know this but, it takes time to process the information. Similar to the time it took to acquire the information. For example, they pulled the plug at 2PM. I texted aunt 'eidi at 2:45PM. As the message that travelled from my nanotransmitted finger taps, to my iPhone and then through ATT transmitters in space, and into her phone in Maryland, and her neurotransmitted eyes see my message, she was processing  a text from my cousin bearing the news.

Communication gaps between us. It's funny how I ended up closer to my aunt than tio 'afo. I bet you were closer to him than her. I bet you have more memories with him than I do. I hope he now makes you laugh like he made me laugh. Mi recomendación, aprovéchalo.

It's amazing how I learned about him through other people's perception of him. Whether he was a good husband/father/brother/son. I got to experience him as an uncle. An older one. A man with many stories. Women related mostly, but great stories. When you see him, since I'm assuming you will stop your busy life and meet up with him, tell him thanks for opening my eyes. El sabe.

I wish I would have talked to him more. I mean, do you think he'll have a voice in his after life? If only I knew how to say that in sign language. But I can't keep asking him silly questions. I can't keep making him laugh like he always did. The deaf have the best laughs. No les importa un carajo. 

Communication gaps between us, made us closer in a sense. We understand we won't understand everything that's said or read, or bled. I'm glad you and I can still talk like this.

Que en paz descanse tío. Y que no se nos olvide que la vida es maravillosa.

la Séptima. 

Entre otras cosas

INT. COCINA LA CASA EN BLEECKER- BROOKLYN,NY-NIGHT

Sonando desde el "BOOM BOT" que le regalaron "It's Always Like This" de Bombay Bicycle Club, ELLA (20's) mira lo que le resta de la COPA DE WHISKEY que se sirvió mientras AQUELLA (20's) juega con su pelo, dando vueltas entre sus dedos, y dice;

ELLA
(jarta)

Siempre es así

de porvenir en por
venir.

yo me voy,

tu te quedas.

Yo regreso,

tu me esperas.

Un cambio.

Aquí todo parece ser estático

"Buenas noches, bienvenidos a más de lo mismo,
Alcohol, marihuana

peste a sudor--

LA PENDEJA DE LA ESQUINA

(V.O)

que importa, si la pasaste cabrón

AQUELLA

el que trabaja se queda chiquito,

frente a un tipo, 

con la mano alza.

Un titiritero que controla

el criquero que es

mi diario vivir.
y como dice la canción,
siempre es así.
Te levantas, así por que si.

un sol, un nuevo día pa' vivir.
y te encaminas a un trabajo que no te importa un carajo,
pa' pagar las deudas de una
colonia.

ELLA
entre otras cosas.

FIN

Las Nauseas

Despertó,
y ahí estaban.
las nauseas,
no cesaban.

              "De nuevo esta mierda"

y se fue directo a la bañera. 
Entre suspiros vómicos,
se paso la mano por los ojos
y se dijo
       "No vuelvas Carmen,
               no vuelvas--"

El whiskey exento excesivo de la noche anterior
va por el drenaje de su apartamento en Nueva York.
Nauseas, que van y vuelven como el amor en los veintes,
te dejan y te vuelven, trizas,
se te fueron las sonrisas.
Y con un enguaje e' boca
acabó.

               "No más nauseas, por favor."