Graffi-

hare un graffiti por toda la ciudad,
desde el bronx a bushwick, lo leerán

todas las voces que se les hace prohibido callar.

veras la fecha que comenzó un amor fugaz.
Lo haré en tinta no permanente para que no

te de miedo una

"eternidad".

I Hereby Declare: I Am Alive

I AM ALIVE!

I BREATHE THE OXYGEN

THAT LACKS IN THESE 

BUSHWICK STREETS.

I TAKE CABS HOME

AFTER HAVING BUTT SEX

WITH THIS MONTH'S LATEST

CONQUEST. I AM ALIVE.

I SIT AND TYPE ON MY COMPUTER

AND THE BIRDS CHIRP OUTSIDE. 

I GO TO THE BATHROOM. ALIVE!

I EAT. I BRUSH MY TEETH. I'M THE

MOST FREQUENT FLYER

OF ONE NIGHTS STANDS.

I'LL NEVER TEXT HIM AGAIN.

I AM ALIVE. I AM. I SWEAR.

I SEE THE SUN RISE AND SET

IN FROM EAST TO WEST.

I RUN. I JUMP. I PLAY BASKET

BALL. I AM ALIVE. 

I JUST FEEL DEAD

SOMETIMES. 

ÑETA.

te(chnology)quiero

if tumblr could express

what it feels like to be in 

[the same space,]

kissing ever so gently,

your face,

if every post on tumblr

 i

could feel 

like your embrace,

the kind that heightens

the heart rate,

ending in the shower,

some sort of passionate haze,

don't feel scared if I sound irate,

this is just another one 

of my plays

[with words.]

if a facebook like could tell you

all the things that in my heart you enable,

with your presence. hide all the notifications

of your eyes, in essence, you are trending

all over my wall, and I don't want to sound

appalled, but Zuckerburg can suck

on his relationship status quo.

"Mark as read, I do not want to read any more

from this comment."

now now, don't hurry,

this is not a race.

a lover's internal quarrels,

tend to leave a good taste.

now if i by posting this

i make some sort of headway,

i guess i'm not the only one 

wondering,

"if i like it, will she know that i thought it for her,

or will she wonder who i'm truly liking it for." 

Tan pronto te fuiste

As soon as you left, walked out the door
of my apartment/dorm
I took the liberty of making the bed,
we made and un made,
in a previous night/weekend of fury.
You went on your way:

[-to catch a bus,
-or an M train
-back to school,
-head to work,
-find apartments
-meet a friend
-grab some drinks]

{sometimesilosecountoftheways
 that you manage to weave
 i n a n d o u t o f m y l i f e.}

I proceeded to wash my face,
rid myself from your taste,
but a strand of your hair

[-curly,
-long
-short
-black
-purple
-castaño.]

A distracted me, decided to scrub away.
Get on my knees, and fabuloso the shit out of
 the shower you just took.
A misplaced bobby pin took me
to the back of your neck a n d

As soon as you left,
I took the liberty of baptising a new era.
the one that will end when you come back
to leave again.

As soon as you left:

[-Santurce
-Guaynabo
-Brooklyn
-Guashington
-Manhattan
-Syracuse
-Boston
-Madrid]

I get the urge to wash away.  All that lingers. The smell of your tingles.
I proceed to expurgate, all that is left,
as soon as you left.

Pecas.

tu que pecas por mis pecas,
cuéntame, ¿de qué están compuestas?
Son acaso chispas de un sol caribeño
que quema. Que mucho quemas.

tu que pecas por mi pecas,
cuéntame, ¿de qué están echas?

Son acaso rostros de noches abatiendo

la cama, en vela. Que nochesitas las nuestras.

tu que pecas por mis pecas,
cuéntame, ¿qué tanto te atrae a ellas?
Son acaso evidencia de amor,
de playeo incesante,tu y yo

en perfecta brisa y marea.

tu que pecas por mis pecas,
cuéntame, ¿qué ves en ellas?

Porque yo no le veo ningún encanto.
Sonblock mal usado, testigo de  los años

y los que me restan, pecando.

Sleeping with exes

I.
Pick the deepest,
dirtiest,
scab.
and just rip it.
Now watch the skin
get put back together.

II.
exes: because who doesn't love
the nothingness in the morning.

III.
It feels the same.
It tastes the same.
The kiss, the same.
The touch, the same.
But, I mean, it's not the same.

IV.
I'm sure this time will be different
than the other "last times".

V.
"This is closure...right?"

VI.
Maybe if we try the same positions we'll get the feeling
we had before.

VII.
Maybe if we try different positions I forget we ever had a
before.

VIII.
Ok. This is the last time. I swear.

IX.
Because I like to remember who I was before you broke me.

X.
Because maybe if we do it enough times it'll become monotonous,
like we became, and you'll dump it too.

XI.
Because "some memory" is better than
no memory. At all.

XII.
"I can't come with anyone else."

XIII.
Because of the way my name rolls off
the toun
             gue.

XIV.
It's just physical. Or somewhat critical
to the heart's health. So you do it.

XV.
Because you know you won't be with them again.
And you want to preserve as much as you can get,
even if it's just
lousy sex.

XVI.
Ultimately, there's no justification
to this annihilation
of
self respect.

The Letters I Never Sent: Numero Dós.

Marzo, 8, 2014

Se nos fue tio 'afo. You already know this but, it takes time to process the information. Similar to the time it took to acquire the information. For example, they pulled the plug at 2PM. I texted aunt 'eidi at 2:45PM. As the message that travelled from my nanotransmitted finger taps, to my iPhone and then through ATT transmitters in space, and into her phone in Maryland, and her neurotransmitted eyes see my message, she was processing  a text from my cousin bearing the news.

Communication gaps between us. It's funny how I ended up closer to my aunt than tio 'afo. I bet you were closer to him than her. I bet you have more memories with him than I do. I hope he now makes you laugh like he made me laugh. Mi recomendación, aprovéchalo.

It's amazing how I learned about him through other people's perception of him. Whether he was a good husband/father/brother/son. I got to experience him as an uncle. An older one. A man with many stories. Women related mostly, but great stories. When you see him, since I'm assuming you will stop your busy life and meet up with him, tell him thanks for opening my eyes. El sabe.

I wish I would have talked to him more. I mean, do you think he'll have a voice in his after life? If only I knew how to say that in sign language. But I can't keep asking him silly questions. I can't keep making him laugh like he always did. The deaf have the best laughs. No les importa un carajo. 

Communication gaps between us, made us closer in a sense. We understand we won't understand everything that's said or read, or bled. I'm glad you and I can still talk like this.

Que en paz descanse tío. Y que no se nos olvide que la vida es maravillosa.

la Séptima.