extra credit

"If I should die today, think only this of me"
That in the 18 years of my life, in which I gave you all of me,
I learned to love what I have, even if it wasn't much,
And embrace all the broken promises that gave me a lot to think;
because these teach. I learned that teaching and learning
Is truly what life is. And through this
I gave my best and the best gave to me.

Think of those happy moments that we shared,
For everyone deserves happiness, even you,
Even me. Think of happiness as the greatest lesson,
For all we do in this life is search for this great state of bliss.
And think not in vain of me because I found it. I found it in you;
I found it in me. And all I want is for you to be happy for me.

La espera

y con ansias espero.
espero algun dia ser feliz.
espero tener...te
espero con tu imagen
implantada
en mi alma.
Espero, pero no me desespero,
pues aunque te
espero, con ansias,
observando como las cosas pasan
y dejan de pasar
Espero el dia,
los dias,
la vez,
que volvere a ser feliz.
y Mi espera no sera en vano.

Stream of Consciousness #1

March, 22,2010-sitting in class. Rainy day in Boston

I have work after this. Im tired of work. Seems that I've been very tired these last days. I want it to be summer already. I wanna be able to sleep till late, to do whatever I feel like instead of worrying over things that cannot be. I hope this class ends soon. I kinda wanna crawl back into bed. These rainy, gray days temp me to stay in bed all day. Why can't i stop thinking about him? It's been more than a month. I should be on to something new. Focused on other things... because, let's face it, there no way in hell I can focus on someone else. I tend to compare, and nobody compares. And frankly... I'm ok with the fact that I'll be in love with him forever and that I, quite possibly maybe, a little bit, think there's no one else. Does this mean I am capable of loving? This "Love" thing that I didn't believe in now seems to have taken ahold of me and cursed me with daydreams and hopes of things... that cannot be. Yea... things that cannot be take a toll on me. I should stop over thinking. I should get on with the fact that "it's just not the right time". Oh! "bad timing". It always happens. I should just let things be. But... did you see how he stared at me when we spoke yesterday?

Things that cannot be...My name is -c and I'm perseverant. I tend to get what I set my mind to. We'll be getting to know each other better as time goes by. Shit...i should be heading out

Llego la primavera

y con ella llegan mil ideas.
mil canciones,
mil poemas,
pero todos para ti.

Llegò la primera,
y con sonrisa en mi semblante,
no hago màs que pensarte
y con esto ya sonrìo.

Llegò la primera,
yo no hay frìo,
ya no hay lluvia,
solo estelas sobre mi mar.

Llego la primavera,
època de color.
y de decirle adios al dolor.
y de sucumbirme en tu olor.

un mes sin nosotros

hoy se cumple un mes sin ti
sin esto que llamabamos "nuestro"
hoy repaso todo el tiempo,
y respiro...porque tengo.

hoy se cumple un mes sin ti,
de mil lagrimas caidas,
de noches sin recuerdos,
de tristezas renacidas.

hoy se cumple un mes sin ti,
y te encuentro hasta en la sopa,
no te busco, apareces,
y esta boca te menciona
hoy se cumple un mes sin ti,
y he tenido que sacar todo el armamento,
drogas,carinios,y alcohol,
todo para deshacerme de esto.

hoy se cumple un mes sin "nosotros"
y todavia cierro los ojos
y te veo.
y te siento
y te extranio.
y te huelo.
y sonrio
porque tu recuerdo me hace feliz

hoy se cumple un mes de pensarte.
fandango.

words to myself?

sigue siendo fria.
anda ve y protegete.
busca como hacer
para no sentirte.

sigue, se fria.
demuestra tu cria.
demuestra que no sientes.
que solo respiras y vives.
que todo lo que tocas,
lo pierdes.

se fria.
enganiate.

La poeta y la musa March 14,2009

pero tu eres my pretty lil flower

waiting to be plucked

from the sky

flying high

intertwined

with my feelings

in my eyes

love

my flower

a daisy?

a sunflower

in the shower

growing

living

feeling

my flower

my pretty lil flower

caught by my fingertips

kissed by my lips

felt in my heart

lives in my skin

the end